The Style Invitational Week 950 Da noiv! Show us some
chutzpah.
By Pat Myers,
In his classic 1968 book “The
Joys of Yiddish,” Leo Rosten defined “chutzpah” as “gall, brazen nerve,
effrontery, incredible ‘guts,’ presumption plus arrogance.” As he often did in
the book’s definitions, Rosten included a joke as an example, further defining
“chutzpah” as “that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother
and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.”
But these days the word isn’t always used pejoratively; sometimes it’s spoken
with admiration for sheer gutsiness.
This week, as Loser Jim
Lubell suggests: Give us a humorous example of hypothetical (or true, but
remember humorous) chutzpah, along the lines of Rosten’s example above. It may
be the quality of the writing, not just the idea, that determines what will get
ink this time.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a lovely teeny-tiny
music box that you have to keep cranking to make work. How Loserly is that? On
top of that, it plays “If I Only Had a Brain.” Donated by Dave Prevar.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a
tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Dec. 26;
results published Jan. 15 (Jan. 13 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant
per week. Include “Week 950” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your
entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week is by
Beverley Sharp; the headline for this week’s results is by Kevin Dopart, who
just can’t win enough stuff.
THE WINNER OF THE INKER
"Bin Laden 2011: That's
a Wrap" by Alethea Dopart and Kevin Dopart, Washington. An Osama Bin Laden
burrito in a sea of blue tortilla chips.
SECOND PLACE
“Hard to Swallow: The GOP
Field” by Alethea and Kevin Dopart, Washington. Featuring Prawn Paul, Herman
Cane, Fig Newt, Mitt Rameny, M’shell Bokmann and Rick Pear-y. Notable among the
materials: potato lecterns; “Bokmann’s” head of bok choy and pasta-shell mouth;
and Pear-y’s eyebrows of, ahem, Nutella
THIRD PLACE
“MalloMars Rover: Search for
S’more Data” by Abigail Fraeman, St. Louis. Abigail, a grad student at
Washington University, is a scientist on NASA’s Mars rover missions, and here
she applies her technical expertise to a vehicle made with a graham cracker
body; Famous Amos wheels; antennas and instruments of pretzels and
marshmallows; Hershey-bar solar panels; on a surface of, duh, Mallomars.
FOURTH PLACE
“Bean Weingarten” by Craig
Dykstra, Centreville, Va., based on an idea by Valerie and Annie Dykstra, his
wife and daughter. Certainly the most impressively executed of this array of
(dis)gustatory art, this leguminous mosaic rates as Invite material because
only a true Loser would work for 23 hours to depict Gene Weingarten — The
Post’s humor columnist and the founder of the Style Invitational — in 5,000
pieces of six varieties of flatulence-generating plant matter
The Motley Food: HONORABLE MENTION
“The Bug Apple: New York
Hotel Room,” by Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.The 276-time Loser depicts the
hospitality industry’s critterly scourge with coffee-bean bedbugs atop a
lasagna-noodle bedspread and mattress. Taking coffee in bed will never seem the
same.
“Meatless Weiner,” by Amanda
Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.: A tortilla-wrapped leek tweets his junk from the
House gym with a baker’s-chocolate phone.
“Irene: I Scream,” by Amanda
Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va. Pretzel utility poles and icing power lines are no
match for dangerously falling broccoli in a hurricane. Fortunately, the graham
cracker house proves an unlikely survivor — something for the almond-slice
screamer inside to Munch on.
“Homage to Steve,” by Deb
Dawkins, Denton, Md., a First Offender. Baked using a 250-year-old recipe with
chocolate and royal icing.
“Eminems,” by Craig Dykstra,
Centreville. Craig painstakingly assembled this portrait from about 2,800
mini-M&Ms. “And yes, I did turn all of them M side up — thanks for
noticing.”
"Occupy Wall(nut)
Street,” by Jeff and Saralinda Contompasis, Ashburn, Va. One of our few
gingerbread entries, this one from a 219-time Style Invitational Loser and his
11-year-old daughter features walnut-windowed gingerbread buildings along with
the gingerbread. bull at Bowling Green
Park, and Gummi Bear protesters.
“Honey, That Laser
Rejuvenation Makes You Look 30 Days Younger!,” by Dan Steinbrocker, Los
Angeles. Dan captures the 21st-century L.A. zeitgeist via russet potato peels.
Not exactly a work of intricate craftsmanship, but we laughed.
"Y2Kernels: Seeing In
the New Ear,” by Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md., and Abigail Fraeman, St.
Louis. Okay, it may be a bit corny, she admitted huskily, but you have to like
the groaner pun — not to mention the little naked baby corn — submitted by
longtime Loser Kathy and her daughter Abigail.
Next week: Tour de Fours VIII: Noelogisms, or LO EN
Behold